thedesignassassin.com

So Apple make the foray into the Tablet market with the release of the iPad. Looks more like a cross between an iPhone and a Kindle on steroids. Like seriously?

Also sounds like a Feminine Hygiene Product – I mean come on… Will it live up to the hype? The marketplace is so majorly full of laptops, netbooks, smartphones, homing pigeons with GPS capabilities…for fuck sake – when is it gonna end?

Apple's iPad. Bloody Hell...

Isn’t the fact that we are all on call 24/7 and expected to be constantly “on” enough already? What happened to reading a good old paperback? I don’t care if it makes similar noises when you turn the digital page, it still is never quite the same…

A major drawback for me already is that the device does not support Flash. Now come on Apple… so many sites use even Flash Lite to operate sites and aspects of sites, non-flash enabled devices in this day and age are about 6 balls behind the 8-ball. For a company so innovative in some respects, one can be so backward in others (ahem*cough* the cameras on iPhones still lag behind any other device with a 5+MP capability).

Sure. It’s a colour-enabled device that has some fun features. But isn’t that what the iPhone is for? How much shit must we really carry to stay connected? What more do we really need to carry around with us? A woman’s handbag is full enough! Aren’t we all connected enough already, spending on average 8-13 hours a day on computers and phone and mobile devices and what have you? Ouch – if my brain hasn’t fried from all the electro-magnetic waves by the time I’m 40 then I’ll be surprised.

I mean I do like the concept of ease, simplicity, the auto-orientation and other such features. HOWEVER, I already own a gazillion bits and pieces of technology (nerd that I am) and I’m really not that sure i need one more right now. As much as the Apple fans might want to shoot me down, I already see ways in which the iPad can be improved (name change being one of them… ). If I am going to be stuck on shit-house public transport for hours on end then i would expect such a device to perform better. Be a bit meatier if you know what i mean…?

The Design Assassin’s Suggested Improvements:

• reliable networks for a start!
• like i said – don’t name it after a feminine hygiene product!
• camera and webcam! no skype? no ability to take sneaky subway shots of funny drunk guy in corner? Though Apple are renown for skipping features so you upgrade later…whatev!
• even just 2 USB ports – if we need to be connected, then don’t rip us off and disconnect us FFS! Bluetooth and other wireless systems are not just as good as replacement options!
• Tablet functionality – stylus or PDA type of option would be nice…the artists could draw. Those sick of touchscreen everything have options. Minority or not, what is the use otherwise?

Looks like I’m not the only one to think the naming of this device is on par with the Australian debacle which involved the naming, shaming and renaming of the Cheesy Vegemite abomination – obviously haha! See image above…and below… Mad TV was ahead of time with this one :

And here is the OFFICIAL Apple iPad video (though i prefer the one above):

I do think that the future sees us resorting to such products et al, however i think to really be an immediate success, the iPad needs to expand upon its offerings and have much more functionality. So iPad or iFail? Only the market can decide that one…